No Television….

I'll be doing a LOT of this....“Rachel Maddow and her girlfriend give up TV on the weekends” which is something I read on Twitter via People Magazine – which should have the slogan “All the News That is Fit to Print” NOT the NY Times.  Hello People Magazine is THE BEST….

Can you imagine if I gave up TV for the weekends?

Sorry I just stood up – shuddered from head to toe – whipped my head back and forth – crossed my eyes and shook out my limbs.

NO… N-O… No and oh yeah – NO and in case I didn’t mention it before NO

Recently I went to visit my mother in Sanibel – those who follow me on Twitter know I was going because I incessantly tweeted about it.  The trip didn’t go as planned as no family trip ever does – as a result my sister unfollowed me on Twitter and blocked her tweets from me.  It’s sad.  Confusing.  Weird.  But not out of the ordinary for our family and in particular my sister.

BUT I DIGRESS:  My mother is still laughing at the image of me in my nephew’s floaties by the pool drinking scotch mid-day.  Needless to say it didn’t happen – but I will say that I did need a scotch more than once during my week – but didn’t partake in it.

My Mom watches TV – that thing goes on at 7am and she watches the news and then it gets shut off until night time and then she watches “her shows” from 8pm until the 11 o’clock news.  Fairly normal viewing practice I would say.  BUT at night the content of the shows is what is questionable at best in my humble opinion.

She has shows she watches:  Castle, 24, CSI, SVU, Law & Order – Bones – there is an actual showed titled BONES – ok you get the drift.

Her house in Sanibel isn’t that large.  One night she turned to me and said – uhm Castle is coming on and the killer stalks her in the shower and she lives alone – you probably don’t want to watch this. I had to go into my bedroom – put my earbuds in and listen to calming music.  Basically I was Warren in Something About Mary – walking around in a nightgown saying Franks and Beans Franks and Beans so I wouldn’t hear any dialogue going on in this show. But I received a fair warning from her – you probably don’t want to see this – which was nice.

But wait one gd second – I don’t want to watch it?  HOW ABOUT YOU?  Mrs. Go Outside and Play I don’t care if there is blood coming out of your ears and it is raining when we were growing up.

Growing up we weren’t allowed free reign of the TV – we got about an hour a week  – but if I’m getting dramatic I like to say we were allotted a ½ an hour a WEEK… who knows – all I know is we hardly ever watched TV. EVER.  And NO video games… oh please – we were left basically with ping pong and hungry hungry hippo for fun…

BUT: Thanks to my mother I can have the focus to spend an entire Saturday reading a book from cover to cover and loving every single minute of it.  I don’t need no stinkin’ TV.

Then there was the time I moved into my grandmother’s condo – Mama had passed and we were renting it – I moved in after the lease was up and renovated it.  I had no furniture – let alone a television.  So I said – brilliantly to myself:  I’m going to read!  I read everything – at night I would come home, cook and then read until the wee hours of the night.  It was really great.

Until :  House of Mirth.  I cried so hard for so long that I went to work the next day and my father looked at me and said – holy crap what happened to you?  I said – House of Mirth – and he said – well what did you read that for?  I said – No clue somebody could have told me that that book was going wreck me – I’m a ruined woman  – AND at lunch you and I are going to Best Buy and buying me a TV and the cable guy is showing up at my house between 3-6pm – while saying this I was STILL crying and I’m not even being dramatic.  I was not even remotely prepared for the ending of that book in any way shape or form.

And I’ve had TV ever since.

I do not partake in ANY violence on TV – none.  It’s a violent free programming household for me.  I can’t even watch the news anymore.  I’m aware of current events – I just don’t need every single detail of every single person involved on a continuous loop for hours at end.

I watch what people deem shitty television – but I think it is brilliant.  I can read Anna Karenina four times and love it more each time I read it – but when I sit down in front of TV –I want funny and fluffy and brilliance all rolled into one –  I’m watching Real Housewives of NYC, – actually ALL the Housewives of any part of the country.  Kell on Earth (awesome show I want to work for her – I would ROCK that job) Project Runway, Top Chef, Jersey Shore (oh please I’ll admit it I could care less) Dancing with the Stars (last week I voted for Buzz – how could I not?  He’s an American Hero – he was on the effing moon for pete’s sake), American Idol, The Hills, The City, Modern Family, Cougar Town.

Basically fluff television where there are no killings, no autopsies, no shootings, stalking or maiming of any kind.  Just fluff.

But could I go an entire weekend without TV – does that include no sports?  I don’t know if I can do it. 

THE PROPOSAL:  wait for it

I’m going to go without TV on the weekends for an entire MONTH.  I just started twitching.  Mainly I’m proposing this because Kell on Earth is done with (I DVR it and watch it on Sunday mornings) AND there is no football on either.

I’ll let you know how it goes – and while I’m at it – I’m fairly certain I should install parental controls on my parents TV so my Mom stops rotting her brain (that’s what she used to say to us when we wanted to watch TV)

So starting this weekend and for four consecutive weekends – no television of any kind…

Oh dear lord help me….

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One response to “No Television….

  1. OK 1st I need to yellllll you were here and DID NOT COME SEE ME?!??!?!?!?!?!?! GRRRRR! lolol ok know that that is out … you would have been completely freaked out with that Castle episode 😉 But I love your blogs 😉

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