The burning truth…

So there will be no Quran burning after all…

On Sept 11 from 6pm – 9pm a Florida Pastor threatened to systematically burn over 200 Quran’s.  Whenever I think of people burning books – religious or otherwise I think of the scene in Footloose (why they’ve never re-made that movie is beyond me) and then I think about Ray Bradbury’s Farhenheit 451.  That book really bothered me – those flame throwers going into people’s homes and just torching book upon book upon book.  Can you imagine?  I can’t. 

Without cable television (yes I am still holding strong) I have been doing nothing but reading and I have to say – it’s really great.  I can’t imagine Ray Bradbury’s characters coming in an torching all my books.  I’ve been going out more too… seeing and conversing with actual people.  It’s a novelty!  But I digress – let’s get back to the wacko in Florida.

Besides putting our troops in jeopardy – I’m not even remotely for war – but I am for our troops. How those men and women choose to serve our country is beyond my comprehension – they are brave and self-sacrificing.  I had a friend from high school who served in the Gulf War – I used to send him care packages – with tube socks, deodorant, underwear and really epic mix tapes.  Every time I packed one of those boxes I was astounded that I was sending basic care items to someone who was fighting a war.  It confused me – the Government couldn’t supply these things?  It still bothers me.  But he was fighting and I was supporting.  I still support our troops and I think about them more than I care to openly admit.

I sat next to a Marine at a Yankee game in August.  He was blonde and tanned and buff and just adorable, he served in Afganistan and was going to be released in mid-September where he was going back to Louisiana with his wife and new baby.  What struck him was that the baseball players were being paid millions and millions of dollars to play a game and he was sitting there with schrapnel in the side of his body – I saw the scars for serving his country  – and he got paid $2000/month.

Like what?  

So let’s do EVERYTHING in our power to support the men and women serving our country.  It’s simple.  None of us our pro-war.  I can’t accept that someone would actually be excited about destroying someone else’s built environment and killing people.  And if someone is home and feels that way – they should sign up and go shoot some stuff or just shut their pie hole.  As far as I’m concerned if you haven’t served in a war, you aren’t signing up for a war or you don’t want to be in the military then ZIP YOUR LIP about stuff that has to do with war.

It seems like this Pastor has decided to take it upon himself to burn a religious book on the front lawn of his house of worship.  Does this conjure up any other images – something burning on the front lawn of someone’s house ?

Are we going there again as a Nation?  I hope not.

I think this Pastor needs to go back to 6th Grade American History and he will learn that our country was built upon religious freedom – if he’s confused he can read the Declaration of Independence OR our Constitution (which does not once mention the word God) and our Declaration mentions the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them  and also We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator  – giving the person reading it the chance to insert THEIR VERY OWN creator or divine being into that sentence.  It wasn’t meant to have one Creator or represent GOD – the Christian God – as in In God We Trust – which was put on our money back in the Civil War and the adopted as a national slogan as a joint resolution of Congress in July of 1956 – incidentally right around the same time Brown vs. Education was happening, there was a resurgence in the KKK and racial tensions were running high.  So here we are again – a time of racial tensions, tea party rallies and people rallying together under the auspicious of One Nation Under God.

Let’s go back to the original documents.  Let’s all be patriotic and read those two documents and start from there.

I’ve been reading both documents on my lunch hour because one of my friends got me into watching West Wing – yup I’m ½ way through Season One… it’s good.  Real Good.  But it peaked my interest in our Constitution and how this country runs and how it was founded. 

It was founded based upon our desire as a people for – wait for it – wait for it….

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM…

Our country as a whole has some dark moments.  But we started as trying to get away from religious persecution. 

HEEELLLLLOOOOOOO religious persecution.  This Pastor was planning on burning religious books.

Does anyone see the problem with that sentence?  It’s a PASTOR …. A Christian man… aren’t Christians supposed to be about forgiveness, loving thy neighbor?  Don’t they have the 10 Commandments – this guy should probably go check those out prior to burning some books on his front lawn.

THEN he says – I won’t do it if the “mosque” is moved away from Ground Zero.  I can’t think of anyone more in the dark than this guy.

I have an idea – put down the Bible you are obviously NOT reading and pick up a newspaper and read about the plan for this COMMUNITY CENTER where there will be a place for Christians, Jews and MUSLIMS to worship.  The name of the place is called the Cordoba Center because back in the day in Spain that is where Christians, Muslims and Jews all lived together harmoniously… what a concept.

Hey Pastor Guy – I won’t even mention you by name cause you are a publicity whore of the worst kind – educate yourself BEFORE you put yourself in the national spotlight AND put our troops in jeopardy.  Cause if you burn the Quran then Obama is right for once – it will be a bonanza for religious sects to lose their minds and lash out…

Is this where we are going in this country?  Are we actually going here?  I mean seriously people.  Come on – pull it together already.

How do people like this gain a national spotlight – he’s ignorant.  I guess it’s why a Connecticut DJ WHO DID NOT EVEN GO TO COLLEGE has a rally on hallowed ground on the anniversary of a sacred speech in our nation’s history… that’s right I called it hallowed ground… as far as I’m concerned it is…

The media should just take a vacation for a while and stop giving d-bags like this guy air time.  I will not be surprised when this Pastor guy re-marries Speidi which will be televised by TMZ

All The Single Ladies….

Why the Single Ladies will rule the world….

What?  You didn’t really seriously think I wasn’t going to rant about Elena Kagan being nominated to the Supreme Court and what led up to the Supreme Court Hearings happen right now?

I LOVE the pre-stories on every sporting event known to man how could I NOT get into what happens prior to the Supreme Court Hearings… COME ON…

But I take special interest in this particular rodeo show because like Elena Kagan I too am unmarried.  Not single mind you – unmarried…

I’m not sure when the cut off happens from single to unmarried but I’m fairly certain the same math equation is used to determine when you become a cougar.  But at 38 years old I may have hit the unmarried mark.

It sounds so dreaded written in print for the world to see.  I don’t think of myself as unmarried.  Unmarried conjurs up a Susan Boyle type woman in sensible shoes and a possible pant suit of a polyester/acrylic blend.  Thankfully I own neither.  I do own a TON of clothes and only about 1/10th of my shoes are sensible and honestly that’s stretching it a bit.  Unmarried makes you think about some poor lonely dusty aunty whom you invite to gatherings just cause you have to.  Dear Lord.  That is SO NOT ME and I’m pretty positive with that brain and her charisma I’m sure that’s not Elena either.

We are a culture obsessed with coupling up.  Ob-sessed.   But with the divorce rate at 50% percent for first marriages, 67% for second and 74% for third marriages – I’m not so sure it’s such a hot idea, no judgement – to each their own. 

I could go on and on and on this subject – but Maureen Dowd says it best here… http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F0CEFDD153EF93AA25756C0A9669D8B63&ref=maureendowd

You should read it.  It’s worth it.

I don’t even want to bring up the softball pic of Elena

And the entire nation discussing whether she was gay or not because of some stupid picture of her playing softball with her work collegues.

Thank goodness I’m not up for the Supreme Court nomination cause with those Kickball pics of me on facebook wearing those god awful uniforms (yes Brian Smith they are ugly – ugly colors, ugly logo, ugly fabric) that someone posted of me playing with my co-workers – then that’s proof positive I’m gayer than gay.  I mean COME ON… really?  And I’m not even going to give a disclaimer saying – well there’s nothing wrong with being gay – cause that just feeds into the whole notion that being gay is wrong.  It’s not. 

But come on America.  Really?  Someone’s marital status is up for debate?  It’s an actual topic of conversation?  It is isn’t it?  Especially being a woman.  We are all fascinated that a woman would nurture her very own career rather than nurturing and growing a family.  Men do it EVERY SINGLE DAY.  When a woman does it – it’s topic for discussion.  I say – go nurture that career Elena.  You done good. 

And look where you are now?  Sitting as the next Supreme Court Justice – unless you (Senator Larry Craig) get caught up in some intern scandal where you are using your foot under a bathroom stall to signal sex or you are actually sleeping with your interns or you were actually having an affair with your assistant while you (Newt Gingrich) were putting the President of the United States of America on trial for impeachment for getting oral sex under his desk and it wasn’t from his wife or you (Senator Edwards)were having children out of wedlock while your partner battled cancer. 

If you can escape ALL of that nonsense – then I say – good luck Elena Kagan!!  You are quite all right in my book.  You nurture that career.  You shoot for the stars – let “them” call you unmarried.  You’re not unmarried to me – you’re a hot shit single chick going for it and I say more power to you!! 

Us Single Ladies have to stick together and put our hands up…

Stress can go suck it

So I haven’t been blogging or been on Twitter or really even checked out Facebook.

I’ve been stressing about my job.  Which sucks.  But takes up A LOT OF TIME

And amazingly enough I still have my job.  Last week I was certain I was getting canned.  I wasn’t.  I still could – but this week I still have my job.  And I’m thankful.  I like my job.  I get to bring my little dog to work everyday.  And I like what I do.

And let’s be honest everyone stresses about his or her job – it’s boring to talk about and even more boring to read about.

Here is what I’ve been up to BESIDES stressing about my job:

MARTHA/ANTONIO/BIG BIRD

At the Martha TapingWent to see a live taping of the Martha Stewart Show with my Mom for her birthday/mother’s day.  Yes the tickets were free – but still it’s the thought that counts right?

I only tell you this because there were two very important guests on her show that day:  Antonio Banderas AND Big Bird.

I’ll admit – I’m not a huge Banderas fan.  But in person I became a Banderas fan.  He’s got sex appeal – it’s weird and I’m ashamed to even admit it.  He was hocking two things:  His part in Shrek II and his new fragrance:  Blue Seduction – yup we got a sample of it – I’ve been wearing it everyday.  I like it.  My mother looked at me in the cab when I was gushing about Antonio and said:  Who are you?  I know right.

Plus we got this really great swag bag with perfume, a crafty 2 in 1 hole punch and some great craft paper.  Send me your address I’ll send you a homemade card. Remember I don’t have television – I have some spare time on my hands.

And Big Bird – come on.  I mean how can you resist that guy?  It was amazingly warm in the studio and Big Bird became warm – there were two children in front of us and Big Bird wanted to take off his head and his handler was going to do just that but everyone and when I say everyone I mean even MARTHA freaked out and said NNNNOOOOO the kids!!! Can you imagine the psychological effects of seeing Big Bird be-headed in front of your very eyes?  Ugh I can’t even think about it.

LIPSTICKLESS BRUNCH

Cooked my mother an AWESOME mother’s day brunch and when I say AWESOME I really mean:  Nothing caught on fire.

Yes it seems when ever I have my family over something always ends up aflame.  I know what you’re thinking:  I suck at cooking.  I don’t and I resent the implication.

I’m a great cook. I purposefully act stupid in the kitchen cause my Mom is like a gourmet chef in the kitchen and I play on her pity for my skills in order to get food from her at regular intervals.  And when I mean food I mean risotto cakes, chicken wrapped in bacon with sage and asparagus lasagna that is AMAZING.

But she came over for mother’s day brunch and it was a success.  Nothing got light on fire.  And the food actually was delicious – including the lemon yogurt muffins that looked weird when I started making them.

Last time I had a going away party for my niece who was headed to summer camp – someone left wrapping paper on the dining room table next to a candle and when we went outside to eat some cake and we heard a smoke alarm but we kept chatting and eating cake – my mom even went inside and said – no it’s not your alarm.  I came in to get more drinks and SCREAMED cause there were five-foot flames on my dining room table. I have two fire extinguishers.  I didn’t use either.  I used two cereal bowls filled with water. Come to my house – my dining room table will forever have a tablecloth on it.

Oh and more importantly – I went the ENTIRE Brunch with no lipstick on and my mother said nothing.  Not a peep. Which is monumental for this woman – I’m convinced I could be lying in the hospital and my mother would put lipstick on me.  It’s sort of like Bret Michaels and his bandana – never without it.  That’s my mom – never without her lipstick.  I couldn’t believe when to my horror I realized it half way through eating and my mom sat there all regal and noble for not saying anything and said – yup I didn’t say anything.  WOW…

I BROKE UP WITH CABLE TELEVISION

this is all I have leftI stopped getting cable television.  Now when I tell people this they get this weird looks on their face and actually say to me:  I don’t understand what you mean?  I reply:  You turn on my TV and you get a test pattern.  I don’t even get basic.

And I’m happy beyond belief that I don’t even miss it.  I mean I really don’t.  Not even a little.

Not even sorta.  Take my iPod away and I’ll hunt you down and kill you – but TV I’m ok without.

I found Redbox at Stop & Shop.  Can’t beat it.  I found hulu.com – can’t beat that either.  I don’t need to spend $1200 a year on cable television.  No need.

$1200 a year will buy me some great adventure vacation with some hot guy guide where we hike around and kayak in white water rapids and camp and have fun.  I can do without television.

THE ERA OF PORNO NAILS HAS ENDED

Porno Nails BEFOR

I got rid of my porno nails.  Yes I had long nails.  Like super long.  Always French Manicured – standing Sunday appointment every two weeks with Tommy at Sun Nails – LOVED THEM.  Decided I was in a rut – so I got rid of them.  Now I have super short nails.  It’s fine and I actually forgot how much I like painting my own nails.  After having porno nails for 3 years it was time for a change.

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION?  REALLY?

My 20th High School Reunion is coming up.  I’m not really as psyched, as I should be.  I mean isn’t this why I have facebook?  I get to see everyone’s kids and skip all the boring social chitchat that usually accompanies these things.  But my Twitter friends say I’ll have a blast.  Ok sure.  I guess I’ll go.

So hopefully I’ll be back to blogging again.  I mean I HAVE to rant about the new Supreme Court Justice Nominee and how she is referred to as unmarried and not single.  Maureen Dowd got me thinking when she wrote her column this week.

That subject absolutely deserves a rant by me – considering I’ve never been married pushing 40….

Maybe order the small fries….

I Got Your Health Care Reform Right Here….

Here we are in a debate about health care reform – the entire nation is discussing health care reform and nobody is discussing our vile eating habits or going after companies who offer such fattening foods on their menus.

Let me start by saying – America you need to put down those portions and get a hold of yourself.

The KFC Double Down – really?

The Dunkin Donuts Waffle Sandwich – this isn’t a good idea even on a bad day

The Never Ending Pasta Bowl at Olive Garden – who in their right mind needs never ending pasta?

The Krispy Kreme Hamburger – it hits my gag reflex each and every time

The Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet – let me say that one again – The Taco Bell Drive Thru Diet… here’s an idea – get out of your car and WALK to get your fried fat inducing food – how about that for a  diet?

What is next?  A five pound bacon ball?

Bad food shoveled into your mouth will make you fat.

I mean seriously is this going to stop soon?  Or what?

Has America just gone completely senseless or what?  Have we just gone off the reservation?

When are we going to learn?  Bad food shoveled into your mouth will make you fat.

Yes it will.

I promise you it will.  Trust me – I’m not a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model believe me – I eat – but at some point we are going to have to start looking at these restaurants that offer these items and hold them accountable.

Eat A Piece of Fruit – A Vegetable Perhaps?

Because you’re not losing weight eating a KFC Double Down that’s for sure…

But let’s all just pause.  Take a breath.  Look around.  And eat a piece of fruit.

I mean seriously people.

And don’t get me wrong I’ve been known to stuff an entire meatball sub with extra cheese down my pie hole at my desk at work without even blinking an eye.  Oh I can eat.  I’m not judging I’m just saying.

At some point we have to stop with the super size, extra large, mammoth portioning and start going back to old school portion control.  You don’t need a super sized anything when it comes to food – let’s be honest.  (Even though at my birthday last year in the new Yankee Stadium I did eat a GIANT helmet full of ice cream.  I’m the first to confess – I can’t pass up helmet food.  How can you?  Everything should be served in a helmet as far as I’m concerned.  But then there is that awkward moment of finishing and you’re like – do I throw this away or what?  If I keep it what will I use it for?  Then I envision myself sitting around my living room eating a helmet full of ice cream – alone watching TV and I freak out and throw it out and I instantly regret it.  Never fails.)

I mean come on though.  Honestly folks.  Can we get this eating thing under control once and for all? 

Maybe Order The Small Fries?

It completely freaks me out that KFC is doing this whole pink bucket for breast cancer thing.  Here’s an idea KFC – stop pumping your chickens full of antibiotics and hormones and let’s just see if breast cancer lessens by a small percentage.  How about trying that?  Instead of these stupid pink buckets of fried chicken – and what is the American Heart Association think about this campaign?  I mean really?

Have we all gone off course?  Shouldn’t every day be race day?

I almost gagged this past Fall when I was at the Big E – yes I was there seeing @bretmichaels perform – how could I not?  Every Rose Has Its Thorn people – every single one.

(On a side note I’m spending an unhealthy amount of time thinking about him and hoping he gets better – he’s wonderful – I love everything about that man – his cheeziness, his bandanna’s, his eye make-up, his Rock of Love show, Big John, his tour bus, his nut hugging jeans – he is THE best as far as I’m concerned – please – and his show – he gives it his all – he is excited you are there and he’s excited to be performing – love that man)

I just think our portions have gotten out of control in the worst possible way – we are all off the rails if we think a KFC Double Down is an ok thing to offer and eat.

Can we all just re-think this for one second?  Maybe order the small fries instead and pass completely on the KFC Double Down?

I’m just sayin….

 

Why I heart Twitter

EVERYONE SHOULD BE ON TWITTER

I want to know why everyone in the entire universe isn’t on Twitter.  I don’t get it.  I truly don’t.  And I just joined in December so I’m a late comer to the party.  But come on people.  Everyone should be tweeting.  Think about how nice the world would be if the entire planet was on Twitter.

My Twitter family is fabulous – they are writers, bakers, chefs, foodies, artists, Yankees fans, sports bloggers, librarians, lawyers, social media giants and famous people.  I mean HELLO @jackiejcollins tweeted me back a few times… YES people I have read every single one of her books cover to cover… (the last one “Poor Little Bitch Girl” was fabulous read it in one day)

People who aren’t on Twitter instantly criticize it.  It’s a weird reaction.  One of my friends said – I don’t really care what a bunch of celebrities are doing.  Ok he missed the point of Twitter.  I don’t really care what celebrities are doing either.  But let me tell you – my favorite celebrities – always tweet their business BEFORE any of the tabloids get a hold of it and I love that.

Sometimes I’m like – do we even need News anymore?  Just check Twitter.  Who won the Masters?  Check Twitter.  Did the volcano with the funny name erupt again?  Just check Twitter.  Is Heathrow airport open again?  Just check Twitter.  Did the Yankees win last night?  Just check Twitter. 

INSTANT MESSAGING FOR YOUR SOUL

I wonder why people criticize Twitter as their first reaction or they say – I don’t get it.  Ok that to me is like – I don’t get conversation.  That is what Twitter is – an ongoing fun conversation that you can jump in and out of depending on your time constraints.  I can leave the Twitter timeline for hours come back and people are there – usually talking about something interesting or cracking me up with their wit and sarcasm or posting a link to a great article, book review or fabulous blog post.  I have laughed more times out loud at work while reading a tweet than I care to admit.

At one point I was home alone one night sitting on my couch tweeting back and forth about hairstyles and laughing out loud for a good ten minutes.

It’s like instant messaging for your soul.  The entire planet should get on Twitter and they should do it immediately.  The world would be a nicer place.  Trust me.

I mean starting up Twitter is rough – you feel like the last kid chosen for kickball in gym class.  You don’t have any followers, you don’t know who to follow and when you finally get up the courage to send out a tweet you get no response.  But then eventually you start building up followers and you find like minded people and it is builds upon itself and suddenly you are building real-time relationships with people.

THE GREAT EQUALIZER CALLED TWITTER

The best is when you’re tweeting with someone and suddenly you realize this person is semi-famous or famous.  Twitter is the great equalizer.  Suddenly you realize someone who is famous has the same celeb crush as you do – how do you know?  She tweeted a pic of her and the guy and tweeted about it – I joined in the conversation and we both realized we were swooning over him.  It’s a wonderful equalizer.  Suddenly we are on the same page.  There are no publicists, or handlers – it’s just me and her doing a life-long ritual as females – swooning over a sexy man.

I HEART YOU TWITTER

It’s nice to be on Twitter and support someone or jump in when someone is feeling weird or insecure or is trying not to eat a double cheeseburger after working out and you know she’s trying to lose weight.  It’s nice to be supportive. 

It’s absolutely wonderful to be on the receiving end of it as well.  I tweet – I’m having an off day and my Twitter peeps tweet back they are thinking of me or they are hoping things get better and suddenly I’m riding a wave of Twitter compassion and outpouring.  The first time that happened I teared up.  It was touching that so many people took one minute to send me well wishes.

It’s fun to be on Twitter and follow other people’s lives –  Did that author you follow finally get published?  What should someone wear on a TV program they are getting interviewed on?  How did someone do at that presentation at work they were presenting today?  Did you twitter friend finally scan the picture of herself in 1982 and tweet it to you?   

And the blogs… the blogs I have found through Twitter are absolutely funny, amazing, compassionate and wonderful.

I can write an entire blog post on the blogs I’ve found through Twitter…

But Twitter is amazing.  Just amazing. 

I heart you Twitter and I know you heart me right back…

The Douches should not be Lords….

At the 18th

 

I have a basic question:  

Why is our society so obsessed with horrible news stories? 

 and only pays two seconds of attention on heartwarming feel good stories? 

Case in point The Masters:  As you know – I didn’t have TV this weekend – it’s part of a no TV on the weekends (I directly blame Rachel Maddow) and the Masters was on.  I wanted to know who won – I went to Twitter.  Answered immediately. 

This morning I wanted to see some images of Phil Mickleson* winning – I went to google images – I found THREE.  THREE IMAGES.  Obviously there were a lot of Phil playing and at the Masters but only three of him winning and joining his wife. 

As a comparison I googled Tiger Woods and his mistresses – do I even need to tell you how many images I found of that situation? 

So here is Phil Mickelson – winning for the THIRD TIME at the Masters AFTER his WIFE AND MOTHER battled CANCER and I found three images.  Here is a man who took time off of golf so he can be closer to his family in their time of crisis.  Let me say that again – so he can be closer to his family… 

Why Tiger Woods Sucks…. 

But what are we as a society fixated on?  Tiger Woods – who personally I think is a douche lord.  He sucks.  He makes zero contribution to society except as a golfer.  Screw him.  He has 700 billion dollars – do something with it besides bang hookers and cocktail waitresses and then pay them off.  You’re  a douche Tiger – plain and simple. 

Your new Nike Ad with your dead father’s voice over asking you how you feel and why you did it with you looking all upset and devastated while wearing nike gear – it’s gross – just like you – your moral compass is so broke you use your dead father as a way to gain re-entry into society.  You suck.  I don’t give a fuck how good you golf.  You’re broken – go fix yourself and then maybe I’ll watch you golf.  Otherwise you are taking a classy, fancy sport and trashing it all up.  It’s gross. 

But I digress.  Why are there not seven gazillion photos of Phil hugging his wife and crying at the 18th out of sheer joy?  Why aren’t we obsessively talking about all this?  Here is a guy who is a stand up dude – with a wife who he has stuck by and he WON… 

Why Glenn Beck Blows…. 

Nope.  We can’t do it as a society.  We just can’t.  We have to stay on the negative and the scary and all the bad emotions.  Just like these stupid Tea Parties popping up all over the country that I think are very thinly veiled KKK rallies.  I feel like the Tea Parties are the new and improved KKK with a new brand and different outfits.  Like the KKK got a new PR team.  They scare the shit out of me.  Why would you purposefully organize groups to discuss all the negative things going on in an administration?  Why not get together and try to make change for the betterment of society as a whole?  WOW what a concept that would be.  But we can’t – we have to stay focused on the negative.  

Which is why Glenn Beck – who was a radio dj on KC101 here in CT which plays bubble pop music all day long on a loop – is making $35 million.  Almost twice as much as Taylor Swift and say what you want about her music – at least she is spreading a little happiness to tweens throughout the country and she hasn’t been involved in some drug scandal or made a sex tape.  She’s just plugging along in her career being gracious even when Kanye West steals her thunder at an awards show.  Oh yeah she wins awards but makes twice as less as a non-educated former Connecticut disc jockey who incites negativity and borderline violence.  (And if you didn’t go to college – good for you – it’s not for everyone – but I’m also not listening to you via FOX News as an expert on where the American Government stands either).  So Kudos for focusing on and paying out the negative guy. 

Why I don’t watch the News…. 

And that is why I don’t watch the news.  I don’t need to see the video at 11 of some old guy getting beat up in the ATM vestibule by gang members (and no I’m not making this up) 

I would like things to stay a little more positive.  Show some news stories that are upbeat, encouraging, spotlighting people who are being good humans. 

The douche lord obsession in the media…. 

Not obsessing about some douche who cheated on his wife who had cancer and fathered some child who he denied fathering until the DNA test came out or some douchebag who cheated on his wife who just won an academy award – something she spent her entire life moving towards and honing her craft to win and you steal it away by banging some Neo-Nazi tattoo model and she comes out with the story after getting paid ten grand or some douche mcgee who banged seven hundred and fifty cocktail waitresses while your wife was at home being a good mother to the children you BOTH have – here’s an idea – stop going to clubs and bars and banging women and go home to your wife and CHILDREN and be a good husband, father and citizen of the world. 

And don’t get me started on Tiki Barber leaving his wife of 11 years who is EIGHT months pregnant WITH TWINS for a 23 yr old intern who is on Facebook in Tiki Barber gear… 

I mean have we completely gone off the rails here people? 

How about we spend some time reflecting on the Phil Mickelson’s of the world for a split second.  Instead of giving all the credit and notoriety and publicity to the mistresses and the husbands who have cheated – why are they such big news stories?  WHY?  

Let’s spend some time as a society focusing in on the positive people – let’s give them notoriety and publicity. 

Let’s pay attention to the contributors and less to the consumers.   

Like  Mobolaji Akiode an American-Nigerian who graduated from Fordham and now moved back to Nigeria to start a basketball camp for only girls.  Girls whose lives and villages were ripped apart by civil war.  Giving hope to young females in a war torn country. 

Or how about the owner of Tom’s shoes who donates shoes quite regularly to third world countries – as a matter of fact you buy a pair of Tom’s they donate a pair in your honor – not as a gimmicky thing – not as a month long promotional thing – as the standard – the norm. 

Let’s start focusing on people like that – who contribute.  

Let’s pay attention to the contributors and less to the consumers.  

Let’s give props to the people making a difference.  See where it gets us for a little while.  

We did the whole negative/violence thing on the news – I think it’s time to change it up.  Don’t you think? 

*And if Phil Mickelson is accused of cheating and having a child outside his marriage and some woman steps forward with a baby – I quit.  And the entire society needs to be revamped and go on a cleanse, a detox diet and get itself to the gym to get itself in shape – immediately.

No Television….

I'll be doing a LOT of this....“Rachel Maddow and her girlfriend give up TV on the weekends” which is something I read on Twitter via People Magazine – which should have the slogan “All the News That is Fit to Print” NOT the NY Times.  Hello People Magazine is THE BEST….

Can you imagine if I gave up TV for the weekends?

Sorry I just stood up – shuddered from head to toe – whipped my head back and forth – crossed my eyes and shook out my limbs.

NO… N-O… No and oh yeah – NO and in case I didn’t mention it before NO

Recently I went to visit my mother in Sanibel – those who follow me on Twitter know I was going because I incessantly tweeted about it.  The trip didn’t go as planned as no family trip ever does – as a result my sister unfollowed me on Twitter and blocked her tweets from me.  It’s sad.  Confusing.  Weird.  But not out of the ordinary for our family and in particular my sister.

BUT I DIGRESS:  My mother is still laughing at the image of me in my nephew’s floaties by the pool drinking scotch mid-day.  Needless to say it didn’t happen – but I will say that I did need a scotch more than once during my week – but didn’t partake in it.

My Mom watches TV – that thing goes on at 7am and she watches the news and then it gets shut off until night time and then she watches “her shows” from 8pm until the 11 o’clock news.  Fairly normal viewing practice I would say.  BUT at night the content of the shows is what is questionable at best in my humble opinion.

She has shows she watches:  Castle, 24, CSI, SVU, Law & Order – Bones – there is an actual showed titled BONES – ok you get the drift.

Her house in Sanibel isn’t that large.  One night she turned to me and said – uhm Castle is coming on and the killer stalks her in the shower and she lives alone – you probably don’t want to watch this. I had to go into my bedroom – put my earbuds in and listen to calming music.  Basically I was Warren in Something About Mary – walking around in a nightgown saying Franks and Beans Franks and Beans so I wouldn’t hear any dialogue going on in this show. But I received a fair warning from her – you probably don’t want to see this – which was nice.

But wait one gd second – I don’t want to watch it?  HOW ABOUT YOU?  Mrs. Go Outside and Play I don’t care if there is blood coming out of your ears and it is raining when we were growing up.

Growing up we weren’t allowed free reign of the TV – we got about an hour a week  – but if I’m getting dramatic I like to say we were allotted a ½ an hour a WEEK… who knows – all I know is we hardly ever watched TV. EVER.  And NO video games… oh please – we were left basically with ping pong and hungry hungry hippo for fun…

BUT: Thanks to my mother I can have the focus to spend an entire Saturday reading a book from cover to cover and loving every single minute of it.  I don’t need no stinkin’ TV.

Then there was the time I moved into my grandmother’s condo – Mama had passed and we were renting it – I moved in after the lease was up and renovated it.  I had no furniture – let alone a television.  So I said – brilliantly to myself:  I’m going to read!  I read everything – at night I would come home, cook and then read until the wee hours of the night.  It was really great.

Until :  House of Mirth.  I cried so hard for so long that I went to work the next day and my father looked at me and said – holy crap what happened to you?  I said – House of Mirth – and he said – well what did you read that for?  I said – No clue somebody could have told me that that book was going wreck me – I’m a ruined woman  – AND at lunch you and I are going to Best Buy and buying me a TV and the cable guy is showing up at my house between 3-6pm – while saying this I was STILL crying and I’m not even being dramatic.  I was not even remotely prepared for the ending of that book in any way shape or form.

And I’ve had TV ever since.

I do not partake in ANY violence on TV – none.  It’s a violent free programming household for me.  I can’t even watch the news anymore.  I’m aware of current events – I just don’t need every single detail of every single person involved on a continuous loop for hours at end.

I watch what people deem shitty television – but I think it is brilliant.  I can read Anna Karenina four times and love it more each time I read it – but when I sit down in front of TV –I want funny and fluffy and brilliance all rolled into one –  I’m watching Real Housewives of NYC, – actually ALL the Housewives of any part of the country.  Kell on Earth (awesome show I want to work for her – I would ROCK that job) Project Runway, Top Chef, Jersey Shore (oh please I’ll admit it I could care less) Dancing with the Stars (last week I voted for Buzz – how could I not?  He’s an American Hero – he was on the effing moon for pete’s sake), American Idol, The Hills, The City, Modern Family, Cougar Town.

Basically fluff television where there are no killings, no autopsies, no shootings, stalking or maiming of any kind.  Just fluff.

But could I go an entire weekend without TV – does that include no sports?  I don’t know if I can do it. 

THE PROPOSAL:  wait for it

I’m going to go without TV on the weekends for an entire MONTH.  I just started twitching.  Mainly I’m proposing this because Kell on Earth is done with (I DVR it and watch it on Sunday mornings) AND there is no football on either.

I’ll let you know how it goes – and while I’m at it – I’m fairly certain I should install parental controls on my parents TV so my Mom stops rotting her brain (that’s what she used to say to us when we wanted to watch TV)

So starting this weekend and for four consecutive weekends – no television of any kind…

Oh dear lord help me….